The Addict Who Still Suffers

I have been dealing with a lot of “survivor’s guilt” (if that’s what you can call it) lately. By that, I mean I get upset a lot of times when I hear of other addicts who are still on their same path, or even worse. I get upset when I see those who are struggling to get better but just can’t get past that last hurdle. I guess this is originally why I started this blog in the first place. I want others to know that there is hope. I want others to know, that it is possible to come from the depths of Hell of addiction in to the wonderful light of life and God.

I am living proof and I have much to share. Just sharing, to me, isn’t enough most times. I want to help so much more. I have no idea how. I am so fresh out of recovery myself a lot of people still don’t even take me serious. What I do know is that it kills me inside to see others still suffering in addiction. I have been there and I don’t care who you are, you do not deserve to be there. Life has so much more to offer.

Why can’t there just be a “magic cure?” It brings tears to my eyes to picture all the faces of the people that I have met throughout my addiction and process of recovery. I want to take them all and just say to them “Look at me! I did it!” That would hardly be fair. It would actually be the completely wrong thing to do. I don’t know? I just know that if I can do it, so can anyone else!

I swore on everything that I was going to lose my life to addiction. I pretty much knew it. I changed it all though! I had so much support and help. I know a lot of times there are those that don’t receive such support. It is much harder to want to get clean when no one is there cheering you on. In fact I can almost bet that if I hadn’t had the support system I did, I don’t honestly know if I would be alive today.

If I wouldn’t have renewed my faith in God I also don’t think that I would’ve made it through. So what can I do? Go shove God down other addict’s throats? Hardly. That would be such a bad approach as well. I actually feel bad sometimes just sharing my experience of getting clean. I feel almost like it isn’t fair that I am clean and these others are still suffering.

Don’t get me wrong, the addict who doesn’t want to get better, this is not about you. You obviously have not come close to hitting rock bottom, or I guess you just don’t want to live. I would love to encourage you to consider recovery, but I know there is no forcing someone to do anything. It is your choice. Only yours.  It is your life and you are free to do with it whatever you want. Just know that life is a million times better on the other side. Oh, and just because your life sucks, don’t bring others down with you. Don’t introduce someone you would consider a friend to your drug of choice. They say misery loves company; well there are plenty of addicts already out there- go find them to associate with. If I sound harsh, I am not sorry because you are selfish, and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.

Anyways, back to the one’s who want to recover; there is hope! I pray to God every night for all the addicts who still suffer. I have considered a career in some type of substance abuse rehabilitation in the near future, but until then, all I can do is keep blogging. I hope that these blogs at least reach one person. If they can help one person in someway I will be able to sleep better at night. I want the suffering addicts to feel the new life I have. I want them to feel the new love I am experiencing from all of my loved ones. I want them to live!

I really don’t have a point or any solutions in this blog. It is simply something I had to get off my chest. If anyone has feedback or if my blog has helped you in some way I’d love to hear about it. If not, it’s fine too. I have all of you in my prayers, always.