Saturday, April 17, 2010
I HATE LIFE
Oh my God, I seriously am beginning to believe that there is NO God anymore. I try and try to do better and what do I get in return? NOTHING!!!!! I stop using drugs and nothing, NOTHING gets better. If anything it gets worse! I come home and get bitched at by whoever just like I used to, and the only thing different is that I didn't get high!!! Wow, I guess I should have made it worth the while if I was still going to get the same outcome? Screw it I should have just got high....
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Cassie, I'm very sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time with your recovery and with life. The struggles you face every day are so unlike anything I've ever had to deal with, and I can only imagine how difficult it is. That being said, I hope that you take heart in the fact that even in the midst of your doubt, God still loves you, walks with you, and desires you to live a whole and fulfilled life. The truth is, we humans ALWAYS find something to worship. The question is, do you place your trust in something that destroys life (drugs, money, self-image), or do you trust in the One who loves you more than you could EVER imagine? Please be well. I'm still praying for you.
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